Ok-my Cuchi's. Why can't I stop watching Real Housewives. My two blogging friends agree-hello, darlings. Bethanny-what's her dealio? What's with that Michael Jackson, circa "Leave me Alone" video nose? WHY is she on the show? She is dating a guy who not only could give a shit about her, I think his issue is he has dick on the brain! He wants a man! not some tired chef or dietician, whatever she is. I ask...why is she on the show? Bravo!... the visual I don't need my little chihuahua's seeing or hearing about are the few soon to be dried up, non fertile eggs Bethanny's uterus is carrying.
The Countess...who doesn't love her intentions and choreographer Cylone? Breakdancing is not going to solve his little problems, dear. Sorry. He has no presence, no style. The kid almost smashed into the railing on the staircase when he was popping. Does The Count give a shit about his kids? The talentless brother outing the sister at dinner was kinda precious and few. He obviously knows what goes on with those afterschool specials in her room.
Can Ramona shut the fuck up? Can she also dress appropriately because honey child, no amount of micro dermabrasion or botox is hiding that fact that she's an old, bitter, dried up stage mother. I was feeling sorry for Avery the daughter for a moment and then got over it when her stupid, loud mouth friend started rattling off how retarded and uncool her own mother was. She needs a slap across that face. Notice how the disco dance party wasn't filmed? one thing sacred. The other parents must think it's bad enough that Ramona attends the same school but to bring in a camera crew to a dance and film them-veto!
The hotel manager Homo and his really unattractive wife are beginning to make me think about going medieval on them both IF i see them on the streets. Gross. She needs to eat a meal and a spine and he needs to have sex with a man. Can we help this man? And make that a french speaking one. Nice gesture with the Love Boat crusie but why did all the people on the birthday boat look like they didn't even know her or care to be there?
Jill. Isnt she the best? the Joy Behar of the pack. She's so tacky, so repugnant, annoying. The thing is this...as i sit in my hacienda and smell olives on the vine...I think about my life...why oh why in the world would I want any of that? These women are so annoying and sad, what makes me long for anything they have? I'm not jealous, I'm not longing for what they have. Theyre all tremendously tacky.
THE HILLS!
Ok-why is Lauren so pathetic? Why is she in the same class as She Pratt? And why does Whitney have that weird thing going in her speech? "I'm going-k to miss you." Her g's have k's at the end of them. Whaa? Is she a dipshit for leaving Lisa Love without having the offer from cutrone? i know she's financed by poppa but puleeeze!
Can we get a new man for Heidi? Spencer is annoying, ugly and tired. Stale as bread.
Cutrone. Cu-torture!
Spin her off immediately.
Ah...cuchicuchi needs her beauty rest. Please continue to post and sing with me...buenos nochas, buenos nochas...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
1 comment:
genius post. watched the ny housewives reruns over the weekend, bcs i have to dissect each word said. my husband almost had a brain aneurysm listening to bethenny's (who the eff spells it that way??) voice from two rooms away. and WHO IS SHE??? can someone answer that? she should be on real spinsters of nyc show on the WE channel bcs no one is ever going to marry that hyena. also, the "surprise!" part of alex's party made me feel a teeny bit bad for her, bcs that was the most downtrodden "surprise!" i have ever heard. but then she opened her mouth. no cuchi, we are not jealous of their lives. we just know that we would put their $$$ to much better use....
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