SHIT SWAG

Hola!I I hear the messenger cart wheel it's way down to my office and drop off my xmas swag. Hmmmmmm....let me see.....

Sucks ass. Blows. Ay yi yi.

Wow, what an ungrateful, shallow cuchi hoochi bitch, you say. And I would say, " you got it, that would be me!". Everything is so damn expensive out there that it has priced me beyond my piggy bank...so, at the end of the year, as gratitude for a lil sumthin' sumthin', I am actually expecting to see things I can't afford. Items that may have been chewed on by the visiting office puppy in the sample room...but something MAJOR. As gratitude for the hours of ulcer inducing phone calls to get that one piece out of Vogue's hands for five minutes to shoot in my rag pages. A free old billboard. But instead...notes of donations (i wuz into that years ago, not anymore), cheap and ugly looks or bags or scarves or fragrances-huh?, cookies (i'm already voluptuous, i dont need extra sugar)...actually did get a few gift cards...which i kind of like. THey all know what we WANT...hand it over. Would it kill anyone to send a Fendi, A Histoire or a Loubie? would it?

Speaking of Loubies...there is a new extra platform. Hmmmm....so instead of four inches...you're now at five and still walking an not dying. The cork has returnedas well...thank the lord!

Tired and cranky. No Hills. no nothing. Peace!

Shallow Bitch!

Posting rants is fun!

ISH

I am simply B*O*R*E*D silly with the Xmas holiday. Over! Enough! Nothing is FUN! I am not enjoying people who are so fucking snotty, depressed, tired and bored. I am not loving giving or receiving gifts the way I use to...it's just too much1 i am really prepared to sit down and put together a goddamned registry for all to see so i can receive something I really really want. I mean, I am tired of food, hangers, cashmere sssscarves, blankets in poar fleece pillows that are scented, big ass candles and notices that Im not getting anything because it's going to charity. Shallow bitch? Hell YEAH!
I am now fascinated with the "ledge" people. These are the ones who lurk at anything you put out on that landing directly outside your office as a "giveaway". I mean, if you put out used hankies in a stack filled with snot, someone WILL take them. And rewrap them! I like to see what goes...soaps, cards, cd's, paper, flipflops, books, studded thong panties and Santa pasties, popcorn AND the tins!
I also have nothing to watch. Havent had a desire to see one single movie...I am s boring...as is this blog!

Good noggin!

ESTEBAN CORTASAR! AY YI YI!

Very, very excited that Esteban Cortasar is new Ungaro head! Hope they don't croak him like they did we everyone else previously-especially giambattista valli-hmmmmmmm...whatever happened to him? HELLLO? International red carpet superstar!
He's young, cute and dresses b listers...DESIGNER TO ME! I mean, what does it take now? An A-F list celeb, a rag like Vogue or Anna, Elle or The Daily, a seamstress to fit together a few pieces of fabric and voila! A collection/designer is BORN. Wow...i did everything wrong. I could be more internationally famous than I already am!

SO LONG FAREWELL TO VIEW FROM THE FOURTH ROW??? AUF WIEDERSEHEIN?, WIEDERSHEEN?-WEINSTEIN-sp? HA!

Can't wait to hear the complaints from Editor's offices when their xmas gifts arrive and they're donations, candles or worse, another Coach or CHANEL coin purse or elongated glove when they really wanted a studded bag that they didnt deserve!!!! Can't wait!!!! please email me your various 'As heard's..." reminds me of a year when i was CNP and some undernourished, ugly ass editor was fawning over something she got from a fashion house in the presence of others in FASHION who didnt get dick...that bitch waved her size 0 vest or whatever the hell it was around like a flag-"I can't believe they sent this to me..." AH! Needless to say she's "freelancing" now, out of the game and probably sold that piece of treasured crap on Ebay-with the rest of her "samples" she wasnt suppose to sell online...hmmmm....

Oh-and thank you Roller Girl for your shout out! You and me and Mrs. Fashion are reading me...hilarious.

VIEW FROM THE FOURTH ROW:
God. God? (He/She ain't going to help.) i just read that View from the Fourth Row and she/he just informed all of us that she/he will be flying the coup, kicking it, closing up show. God! How is the possible? Someone probably got hold of her/his address and identity and needed to reveal or leave or something. As bored as she/he is, I am still elated when I call up my bookmarks on my Mac and that address comes up and there's something horrendous and sinister about our fabulous phony industry.

Ah-breathe and slap myself slightly. We must pull together and get on with it.

I am so bored this weekend. Absolutely nothing has happened. Who gives a rats ass about Isaiah Thomas? Or Britney adopting chinese babies (hello?) and can George clooney shut the fuck up about Britney. He damns the paparazzi to hell yet he acknowledges them. And clings on to the one person who's young and his name will be linked to her for another week anyway on every major website. What is he going to do? Help fund her recovery from the twinkie zone?

ok-enough of this shit. Can we discuss the Cloubs I am dying for? GOLD and diamanted mix "Bling Blings" that are on a waiting list now from Net a Porter.com. But COME ON. A Party shoe for $1350. Oy. What is happening here? When did Manolo Blahnik seem like a bargain? Jeez...

More later...

xoxo

Pure White Linen

Today was a shit day. i hated my look, my hair, my AND I MISSED OUT ALL OF THE H&M CAVALLI LINE! I needed a speaker's corner to voice my hate of the day...so, here it goes:....i m truly sick and tied and really hate these girls who work in and around magazines (on staff, freelance) who walk around with this air of entitlement. im also really sick of people who I work with who suck up to that shit. Take, for instance, Vanilla. She's just that. so vanilla it makes you want to puke. The whitest. nd in your dumbness...she manages to not only get work but get me in trouble. i have no idea how she got where she is, who she's blown to get this far (most be loads) but this chick is maybe the biggest asshola I have ever encountered. She comes off lily white and sweet but i know this one is a super climbing bitch. And as ambitious and smart it appears she is, she's actually as smart as a Ho Ho or Ring Ding.
I don't want to play nice with the other kids: I never subscribed to that philosophy. Look out for number one. Because this piece of shit will be on you to replace you and not even care about anythiing but winning, Bitch! I am bring forced to work with her and I actually cringe and almost stand on edge or want to jump off a ledge when she speaks...the words are like an idiot speaking. She's like Gwyneth paltrow, who i truly can't stand. Gwynnie is spokeswoman for Lauder's Pure White Linen-fabric you should not wrinkle or disrupt. Why are these women this way? this bitch i can't stand is just like G-Money.
i would love to do a countdown list of blondes who suck. she would be on this but not have the top honors..that's reserved.
I can't really do a thing about it...just g with the flow and watch her get swallowed up in her own ambition. watching the choke will be amusing...because it actually happens.
Today was a really bad day. Free your mind and the rest will follow.

Banana Republi-can't!

Im going Banana's! I went to this Spring Summer 2008 preview tonight and ohhhhhhh, papi! why why why? why bother? I needed to set the Tivo for Grey's Anatomy and instead I was in Lux Studio watching a show that was a waste of time and money. (though i liked the bags and sunglasses) i almost had a heart attack getting there. A train, and a pedicab! no yellow cars anywhere! I felt like your parents were dropping you off in front of school and it wasnt cool to be in THEIR car...so you get out a black away. I didnt need Virginia, L'il Jim Moore or Anne Slowey to see my cuchicuchi stepping out of a ghetto pedi cab!

i'm back to...Why there? Because it was convenient for KCD? KFC. I am going to rename KCD-KFC. like finger linkin' good, fried mofo chicken. Great going down but once they hit your spot, it's curtains!

Anyway-why why why?

Why is Lance porking Ashley?

Why does Heather McCartney matter?

And how shocking was it when Sabrina was voted off Dancing with the Stars?

Papi needs some cuchi, so mama is signing off.

xoxo